BangYouLater Offers to Pay Kendra Sunderland’s Fine
MONTREAL — Adult tube site BangYouLater.com has offered to pay former Oregon State University student Kendra Sunderland’s $6,250 fine for public indecency — a fine which resulted from her self-videoed masturbation in a campus library.
The company applauds Sunderland’s act of playful exhibitionism and says that it is a shame that she is being punished for simply flaunting her sexual nature.
“Word on the proverbial street is that pornography has entered the mainstream: We’re now a hyper sexual culture accustomed to nudity and gyrating pelvises. A culture that’s no longer offended by sex toy sponsorships or giant billboards encouraging us to masturbate,” explains a BangYouLater spokesperson. “Why is it then, that we’re arresting young women who embody this new age sexual nonchalance?”
“What kind of society deliberately stifles such a harmless moment of beatific self-indulgence?” the rep added. “Given that she was never caught or discovered during her, um… performance, no one can really claim to have been negatively affected by it.”
In addition to the criminal record, Sunderland faces the lofty $6,250 fine for enjoying herself in public, so the offer to Sunderland was proposed by BangYouLater, which is reportedly in direct discussion with her to help resolve the financial burden that she is now faced with.
“The reason behind BangYouLater’s offer is their belief that people should be able to be open and promiscuous when not harming anyone in the process,” the rep explains. “Masturbation is a natural act in which we all explore regularly and those who claim otherwise are either blatant liars or complete prudes of whom should reconsider their ways as they [would] discover that such physical activity has scientifically proven to release endorphin’s to increase positivity and clarity in everyday life.”
The company has offered to fly Sunderland to its headquarters to give her the money in person, and only asks that she allow them to film the transaction to show the world that the BangYouLater team endorses harmless masturbation.
“The only way that we can genuinely change our culture and crawl out from beneath these prude, antiquated Puritan values is to actively and publicly condone rad people like Ms. Sunderland,” the rep concludes. “So, we sincerely hope that she accepts our donation and look forward to meeting her.”
For more information, visit BangYouLater.com.