Sexual Health Expo N.Y. Speaker Preview: Dirty Lola
LOS ANGELES — With a name like “Dirty Lola,” a penchant for electro stimulation and being the ringleader of the “Pussy Posse,” one can only expect some wild revelations and a damn good time when this outrageous speaker hits the stage at the upcoming Sexual Health Expo (SHE) conference in New York City.
A sex educator of a different stripe — one who doesn’t come with a resume listing degrees or a client base expecting traditional sex therapy — Dirty Lola imparts sexual positivity based on her first-hand experiences and a savvy street-level feel for what people want to know.
Lola is also a blogger and a self-described naughty storyteller, sex encourager, sex toy peddler, and the creator and host of the live sex-positive Q&A go-go show and podcast “Sex Ed A Go-Go.”
For five years Lola has been on the forefront of “kickass” body and sex-positivity and has shared her personal journey into the kink and polyamorous lifestyles with the masses. She prides herself on honestly answering questions about sex, sexuality and relationships in a fun and entertaining way – all part of what will undoubtedly make her a huge draw at SHE.
What’s more, the Brooklyn girl and "sex geek" can be found behind the counter at the Shag Brooklyn sex boutique as its in-house workshop guru.
Excited to hear what “dirty” advice Lola has to offer, XBIZ picked her brain about her unique career and what’s next for the anything but boring charismatic sexpert.
XBIZ: The SHE Conference focuses on sexual health, but a number of consumers want to have some fun. One of your specialties is ElectroSex. What is it and how does it spice up one’s sex life?
Lola: ElectroSex is just the trendy name for Erotic Electrostimulation or E-Stim. E-Stim is the sexual practice of applying electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body using a power source such as a TENS unit, a violet wand, or an EMS unit. In the past has mainly been associated with BDSM play, but with companies like MyStim and Jimmy Jane rolling out made-for-play units E-Stim has become more accessible to the masses. ElectroSex is a great way to add some new fun into your sex life. The right level of electric current stimulates the nerve endings and causes involuntary muscle stimulation. These effects combined create a very erotic experience.
XBIZ: How did you enter the field of sexuality?
Lola: I’ve always loved talking about sex and sharing the things I learned with friends. Five years ago I started blogging and sharing those things and my journeys into polyamory and kink with a wider audience.
XBIZ: How did you get the name “Dirty Lola?”
Lola: I came up with Dirty Lola back when I wrote micro erotica on Twitter. I wanted a name that was naughty and fun. My legal middle name is Lolita so that made it an easy choice.
XBIZ: Tell us about Sex Ed A Go-Go.
Lola: Sex Ed. A Go-Go is one part sex Q&A and one part go-go revue. It’s my passion project. I feel like there aren’t enough safe spaces that aren’t classrooms to talk about sex. I wanted to create a space for honest, raw, real sex talk, and I wanted it to be entertaining.
I’ve always been my friends' go-to person when they had sex questions. After every house party I’d end up sitting on my couch giving advice, answering questions and showing off my newest sex toy find. I was also hosting burlesque shows around New York during that time. Two years ago after a lot of encouragement from a dear friend I decided to combine the two.
XBIZ: What was your background before entering sex ed?
Lola: I have had many jobs. I’ve been a nanny, a dog walker, a waitress, and a secretary ... so many things. I was working to work. Sex ed started out as a hobby and grew into a passion. I am happy to say that it is now my job.
XBIZ: You are also involved with Sex Geekdom N.Y. Please explain.
Lola: Sex Geekdom is a global community that provides safe spaces for likeminded people to geek out about sex without having to worry that someone will get the wrong idea. I joined Sex Geekdom NY after meeting Sex Geekdom founder Kate McCombs in a sex shop. We geeked out about gimp masks. I knew I’d found my tribe in that moment. I am now co-emissary of SGNY. I help plan and facilitate activities such as the Sex Geek Scavenger Hunt in NYC.
XBIZ: What’s the “Pussy Posse?”
Lola: The Pussy Posse is a nickname I came up with for the rotating cast of special guests and go-go dancers who grace the Sex Ed. A Go-Go stage. Everyone is in on the conversation. We collectively answer questions. They’re my back up. My Posse. I’m also a big fan of alliteration.
XBIZ: Are you seeing a new acceptance of sexuality among everyday folk? If so, why?
Lola: More and more people are talking about sexuality, but we still have a long way to go. I feel that people still view sex as a secret dirty thing when in reality it’s just a natural part of life. It’s my hope that my show and events like SHE will help change that perception.
XBIZ: Are areas like polyamorous lifestyles increasing?
Lola: I think more people are being open about their lifestyles than they were in the past. I also think that more people are seeing polyamory/swinging/open marriage as viable options because more folks are being open about the lives they lead. Representation is powerful.
XBIZ: You’re also an advocate of sex positivity and body awareness. What are your main concerns and goals in those areas?
Lola: What I push for on both fronts is acceptance. We need to accept and love ourselves. Love the body you’re in and love they sex you’re having or not having. Do what is right for YOU. We also need to work on accepting the not everyone looks the same or has sex the same. We have to stop criticizing each other. We have to stop yucking each other’s yums.
XBIZ: Why do you think events like SHE are growing?
Lola: People are hungry for information, but they don’t always know where to go to find what they need or they’re shy about seeking certain information out. Events like SHE pull educators from all walks of life and put us in one fun and accessible space. Fun and accessibility is the key.
XBIZ: What can attendees expect from your talk at SHE this year?
Lola: Amazing educators dropping knowledge — and a damn good time.