Screaming O Makes Republican Presidential Hopeful Ted Cruz an Offer
LOS ANGELES — The Screaming O has partnered with the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education (LAASE) to offer a scholarship and lifetime supply of sex toys to Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz.
“The thoughtful offer comes in response to Cruz’s now-very-public condemnation of masturbation and sex toys, which has left the sex industry clamoring to help guide Cruz toward his own pursuit of happiness,” the sex toy manufacturer said in a statement.
The Screaming O, which earned recognition in 2015 by winning Sex Toy Company at the XBIZ Awards, is best known for its flagship product, The Screaming O Vibrating Ring.
During his time as Texas solicitor general, Cruz was instrumental in criminalizing the sale of sex toys in his state and argued against Americans’ right to self-love, two aspects of modern humanity that lie at the core of Screaming O’s philosophy, The Screaming O President Justin Ross said.
And it became clear, Ross said, there was only one thing they could do to help — send Cruz back to school to learn the medical benefits of masturbation and the many ways to enjoy it.
“It’s sad to hear Cruz miss the point about masturbation and the important role it plays in our daily lives, but there’s a good chance that he never had the opportunity to learn about it,” he said.
“So we’d like to send Cruz — and his wife, if she’s game — to the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Ed with all the supplies they need for a crash course in self-pleasure and how pursuing that kind of happiness can improve mental, physical and emotional health faster than anything a doctor might prescribe.”
Scientific evidence shows that masturbation can be not only an important part of a healthy sexual lifestyle, but also be an incredibly effective way to reduce stress, release muscle tension, improve sleep, and even help reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy, he noted.
And with the U.S. boasting one of the highest teen pregnancy rates and reported STI cases growing at an alarming rate, it’s more important than ever that the country’s influential political leaders understand the facts, he said.
LAASE founder and Lead Educator Elle Chase said that the academy specializes in providing factually accurate sexuality information in a fun and informative way, and all are welcome.
“We are prepared to provide Mr. Cruz with the tools and information he needs to make smarter decisions relating to the health and wellness of his constituents,” Chase said. “And if he doesn’t ultimately make it to the White House, we hope he brings his notebook back to Texas to spread the good word.”
Ross and Chase anxiously await Cruz’s response to their generous offer and look forward to a response from his team.
In the meantime, Chase will be teaching a free class called “Mutual Masturbation: Give Yourself a Hand” on May 22 at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood, Calif.
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